I wouldn't describe it as fear... exactly

Jonathan:
The dawn of 2008 has brought with it yet another level of reality as our departure date approaches. It's been interesting for Megan and I to observe ourselves through our preparations to leave. I think we always knew we might develop some fear around leaving. I (for one) expected my apprehensions to be about the significant challenges we might encounter on our trip— the language barrier, learning to take care of ourselves and find strength without a home base, learning to share everything... absolutely everything. But surprisingly, if anything I feel over-prepared. It feels like we've meticulously addressed every minute thought, concern, idea and prediction that's popped into our heads over the past several months. If we haven't taken care of it yet, rest assured it's on a list somewhere.

It is not the trip itself that's got me thinking. Instead I find myself wondering if I am prepared to accept the people we might be when we return. I've developed a level of comfort with our way of life here—our jobs, our friends, the things we do for fun. It's unnerving to think all that might change.

I suppose we could look at it as a cleansing process. The things we choose to reintroduce on the other side will be those whose importance has stayed with us through a full year of intense growth, brutal honesty, and being stripped down to our core. These will be the things closest to our hearts.

Still, there is a faint sense of sadness in reflecting on our lives as we know them— wondering what will be here waiting for us when we return; and what will fit neatly into our memories of those lives we used to lead.