Let the self discovery begin

Jonathan:
Since we arrived here in Mazatlán on Saturday morning we have been staying with our good friends Gabino and Olga Covarrubias-- long-time family friends with a beautiful home overlooking the rocky coast just south of old town (safely away from the booming hotel strip). The environment we've been living in here is breathtaking. Just yesterday we spent our afternoon stretching and exercising on their gorgeous white tile terrace as we listened to waves crash on the rocks below, and we watched the sun dropped into the Pacific-- it was amazing. In addition to our beautiful surroundings, our hosts have been wonderfully hospitable. They have included us in everything they do as if we were members of the family. We have really felt so welcome here.

Despite our plush surroundings though, I've found myself feeling surprisingly unsettled these past few days and I'm not sure why. Part of it seems to be connected to the fact that our time here has been a little aimless. We arrived here without any idea of what we wanted to do-- I'm not even sure I read what our tour book had to say about Mazatlán until yesterday. We've allowed ourselves to get ushered around, picked up, dropped off, told where to go, where not to go... in some ways it's been nice, but I think on some level it's made me feel a little helpless and out of control here. For some reason I'm letting it shake my confidence. I've noticed myself feeling more reluctant to practice my Spanish, talk to strangers, explore new places... All the things I enjoy doing when I'm feeling secure. It's weird.

On top of that, I think we have reached a point where we are craving a little more substance from our experience on this trip. The "vacation-ness" is starting to wear off, and we are both starting to look for ways to connect with people and places on a deeper level-- it's a noble cause, but the language barrier has started to feel a little constricting. It's tough to really get to know someone when all we know how to do is order drinks and ask directions. We must be making progress with our Spanish, but it doesn't always feel like it-- the learning is slow going and it's starting to feel frustrating.

This afternoon we're going to spend some time volunteering at a local orphanage-- something we set up through another friend of ours down here-- which will hopefully give our time here a different slant. In the meantime though, we've both been feeling pretty drained and irritable and we're looking forward to finding a way to rejuvenate our enthusiasm.