Sinking in

Jonathan:
We have just arrived in the city of Antigua after spending the past week working our way around the shores of Lago Atitlán in the highlands of western Guatemala. In addition to climbing nearby Volcán San Pedro and basking in the peace and quiet of rural Guatemala, the highlight of our time here has definitely been the "Casa del Mundo"-- a spectacular hacienda spread over a series of stone terraces built into a cliff overlooking the lake. We spent three days exploring the hacienda's seemingly endless maze of steep stone stairways, hidden patios, and enchanting flowered gardens. We spent our mornings swimming in the crystal clear, impossibly glassy water (an easy jump from the lower terraces); and our afternoons were filled with naps in hammocks as we watched the clouds roll in to envelop the three volcanoes rimming the lake.

As breathtaking as our surroundings have been since we arrived here, I feel like our time at Lago Atitlán has provided me with a particularly powerful experience of feeling energized by a place. I've always struggled to fully understand what people really mean when they say a particular place has special energy. In general I feel like I'm pretty open to those sorts of things, and I feel like I've experienced to some pretty spectacular connections with nature in the past-- but for some reason this felt different. In a way, I think I've always experienced such places with a sense of "separateness." Like this place is here, and I'm here, and we just happen to be spending some time together.

It may have been the mindset I was in when we arrived here, that I was somehow primed for this kind of thing, but the lake has left me with an overwhelming sense of peace and empowerment-- almost as if my soul has been amplified by being here. These past several days I have been feeling a sense of clarity and purpose that feels totally foreign to me.

To be honest, the timing couldn't be better. I think I entered this trip assuming that it would be full of massive revelations about myself, my relationship with Megan, my life-- you know, the tough stuff. I embarked on this journey fully prepared for a barrage of confrontational realizations and difficult growth... After spending over two months removed from the familiarity of my life back home and feeling relatively unchanged, I was starting to think that maybe the trip wasn't working. Maybe we weren't finding the right kinds of experiences to initiate the kind of intense growth I was expecting.

This weird sense of clarity has helped me realize that maybe the trip is working fine. Maybe the massive revelation I've been seeking is to realize that I don't need a massive revelation to be okay-- Funny, right? Well, the instant this occurred to me I was astonished by the weight I felt lifted from my shoulders, like I had suddenly given myself permission to be okay-- not try so hard. Those of you who know me well are probably thinking it's about time this occurred to me, but inside it feels like a pretty big deal. I've been enjoying such an overwhelming sense of contentment these past few days, I sincerely hope this feeling sticks around a while.

We will be here in Antigua for the next two weeks-- We've decided its about time for another boost in the old Spanish skills, and this town seems filled to the brim with great schools. We moved in with our host family yesterday, and we are looking forward to the coming days of intense grammar lessons and fantastic home cooked meals.